It's hard to apply yourself, really it is.

There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING sadder than the hundreds of thousands of blogs upon blogs out there on the internet without a single follower (at least ten of which belong to me...). This is why I have come to the sudden conclusion that I must become popular.
But to do that I have to apply myself to actually a.) Write a Blog and b.) Have people like my blog. I will make it part of my new "Five Day Plan". Which I fully intend to write down and hang on a mirror somewhere. Because statistically you are 86% more likely to accomplish your goal if you write it down.

That's not true.

But I'm sure its some fun statistic like that, and I personally like 86% because it doesn't sound too made up to not be true. So there you go, my first bit of almost not useless advice! Take that and impress someone.

But I'm wandering. The Five Day Plan to become a popular blogger. Why? Well I figured I would fit in with the hilarious/talented people who I've read the past few months since I started college. People like The Bloggess and hyperboleandahalf.com have undoubtedly taken up 90% of time I allotted to studying. And now I am just the creepy kid who sits in the library and giggles at his computer screen. Fuck you gawkers. I can see you looking. And no, I am not on any medication. Yet.

Anyway. This is where I should place the disclaimer. I intend for this blog to be satirical. I don't intend it to harm/insult/make anyone send me angry letters. To be honest, I don't handle criticism well. And I don't give a shit if you like me or not.

That's a lie to, I do care. Love me.

Peace, Love, and Popularity.

See. I wrote it down. It's loosely based on God's plan to make the universe (I wonder if he wrote that down?)
Maybe it's hung up with gum that may or may not be mine.
Whatever.